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  • bastard
  • bastard

    Original meaning, an illegitimate person, when to be born out of wedlock was viewed as objectionable.

  • piggy's bag
  • piggy's bag

    The history teacher, Piggy Brown, an inadequate child trapped in a paedophile's body, clutched a British Airways satchel everywhere he went. After years of merciless baiting, the straw that broke Piggy's back was when the fourth year managed to nick the satchel and hung it from the roof on a rope, swinging it back and forth outside the windows of Piggy's classroom. He started foaming at the mouth, ran out and didn't come back. Poor bastard had a nervous breakdown, we laughed 'til we crapped our pants. (ed: Ah the innocence of childhood. In my school they grabbed one kid in the woodwork class, and after heating up a knife tried to brand him with his nickname 'orphan'. Sadistic bastards kids are!)

  • spanner
  • spanner

    Disabled person. For example "That Lionel Starkey, he's such a spanner" (Mr Starkey was spesh),(Contributor asks "jesus, did we ever used to say stuff like this?" (ed: afraid so... kids are nasty, horrible, sadistic little bastards usually - I know - I used to be one!) Had more on this one. Seems the terms now mutated into an almost 'affectionate' admonition for someone who has done something 'daft. Used as "God did you really do that? You are such a spanner!!" (ed: on the other hand, its origins are the same so... ?).

  • bastarding
  • bastarding

    Adj. An intensifier. E.g."I'm sorry for being late, I missed the bastarding bus again!"

  • bastard
  • bastard

    n A person, especially one who is held to be mean or disagreeable.

  • bastard (you old)
  • bastard (you old)

    a term of endearment ‘Come on you old bastard’

  • bastard (!)
  • bastard (!)

    Noun. 1. A contemptible person. Derived from the original meaning, an illegitimate person, when to be born out of wedlock was viewed as objectionable. 2. A pitiable person. E.g."That poor bastard never stood a chance once the avalanche started." Adj. Used as an negative intensifier. E.g."My bastard car wont start again!" Exclam. Exclamation of anger.

  • twat
  • twat

    (1) The female vagina. (2) An excessively stupid or unpleasant person. (3) At Elizabeth Woodville Primary School, Groby, Leicestershire they thought the proper definition of twat was 'pregnant goldfish'. (4) To hit someone quite hard, or beat them up, i.e. to 'tawt' them. Can also be used in the past tense i.e. twatted. (5) used as a bastardazation of "What?" to annoy teachers and the hard of hearing. Use in a sentence Sentence spoken as: "Twat? Cunt hear you! Got an ear infuction. Bare ass me again" Meaning: "What? Can't hear you! Got an ear infection. Better ask me again."

  • pikey
  • pikey

    Derogatory term for Gipsys. particularly the type that live in communes of stinking caravans with pyres of junked Mk 4 Granadas and heaps of domestic rubbish left festering on public open spaces. c.f. Hackney Marshes today! Note: not the real Romany types , but dirty workshy theiving bastards. Otherwise, tramp, dosser, one who wears old clothes or someone will stoop to pick up a 2p coin from a street

  • scrump (1)
  • scrump (1)

    To steal apples... as in "You going scrumping tonight??"... "Aye if the old bastard hasn't left the dogs in the orchard!". (ed: there must be some connection between this and the old word for rough cider... i.e. "scrumpy"... so if you know what it is please tell me!!)

  • schucks-woman
  • schucks-woman

    (ed: contribution included verbatim): Pyrford first/middle school through the 80's (a wonderful time to be alive), The schucks-woman was a crazy lady who used to walk her dog round the playing field. She was (among others) an escaped convict, an undercover policeman looking for bad kids, a dog kidnapper, an ex-teacher come to wreak revenge etc. If she so much as glanced in your direction you were pretty much done for. Actually, if she's reading this now I'd just like to say "Sorry. Us kids can be utter bastards when we try..." .

  • like a bastard
  • like a bastard

    Phrs. In a hurried or agitated state. E.g."I raced around the shops like a bastard, looking for a birthday present."

  • scoofee
  • scoofee

    A bastardisation of "school field" and the general site of games and warfare, such as the tap on the shoulder on a snowy playtime, swiftly followed by eyes, nose and mouth full of ice, snow and dog crap as the hapless victim turned to see his 'chums' (who were usually crippled with laughter once they (the victim) could see and breathe again), great days, great times to be had on the old scoofee, buried under haystacks, mauled at rugby, finding porn, ahhh good times!

  • Guey
  • Guey

    , (way)   n.,  Bastard, fool. Demeaning but used often with affection.  “OK, guey, I’ll see you later.”  [Etym., Chicano/Spanish]

  • Tompion
  • Tompion

    A block of wood inserted into the barrel of a gun on a 19th-century warship to keep out the sea spray. Also used for covers on the ends of the barrels of more modern ships' guns, the larger of which are often adorned with the ship's crest or other decoration. The term is often bastardized as "tampon".

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BASTARD

  • Bastard
  • a.

    Begotten and born out of lawful matrimony; illegitimate. See Bastard, n., note.

  • Bastard
  • v. t.

    To bastardize.

  • Bastard
  • n.

    Of an unusual make or proportion; as, a bastard musket; a bastard culverin.

  • Pollex
  • n.

    The first, or preaxial, digit of the fore limb, corresponding to the hallux in the hind limb; the thumb. In birds, the pollex is the joint which bears the bastard wing.

  • Natural
  • a.

    Begotten without the sanction of law; born out of wedlock; illegitimate; bastard; as, a natural child.

  • Unfathered
  • a.

    Having no acknowledged father; hence, illegitimate; spurious; bastard.

  • Legitimate
  • v. t.

    To make legitimate, lawful, or valid; esp., to put in the position or state of a legitimate person before the law, by legal means; as, to legitimate a bastard child.

  • Bastardize
  • v. t.

    To make or prove to be a bastard; to stigmatize as a bastard; to declare or decide legally to be illegitimate.

  • Bastardy
  • n.

    The procreation of a bastard child.

  • Winglet
  • n.

    A bastard wing, or alula.

  • Bastardizing
  • p. pr. & vb. n.

    of Bastardize

  • Bastardly
  • a.

    Bastardlike; baseborn; spurious; corrupt.

  • Bastardized
  • imp. & p. p.

    of Bastardize

  • Bastardism
  • n.

    The state of being a bastard; bastardy.

  • Bastardly
  • adv.

    In the manner of a bastard; spuriously.

  • Whoreson
  • n.

    A bastard; colloquially, a low, scurvy fellow; -- used generally in contempt, or in coarse humor. Also used adjectively.

  • Safflower
  • n.

    An annual composite plant (Carthamus tinctorius), the flowers of which are used as a dyestuff and in making rouge; bastard, or false, saffron.

  • Mamzer
  • n.

    A person born of relations between whom marriage was forbidden by the Mosaic law; a bastard.

  • Spurious
  • a.

    Not legitimate; bastard; as, spurious issue.

  • Bastardy
  • n.

    The state of being a bastard; illegitimacy.

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